1 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:05,756 {\an8}It's the grand opening of Langley's first ever Grand Grocer, 2 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:08,092 {\an8}and the stars are out. 3 00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:09,677 {\an8}That's right, Greg. 4 00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:12,304 All the city's top elite are in attendance. 5 00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,682 Quiet, Trish. Mayor Garfield's about to speak. 6 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:18,060 I inaugurate unto this town 7 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:22,356 a most glorious mercantile that I understand is to be... 8 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,067 Racially integrated? 9 00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,612 Let's just cut the blasted ribbon already 10 00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:31,615 and let in the kind of despicable work-shy lunkheads 11 00:00:31,741 --> 00:00:33,909 who attend a grocery store opening. 12 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,913 {\an8}- Grocery store! Grocery store! - Whoa! Yeah! Yeah! 13 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,753 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 14 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:47,298 ♪ I got a feeling That it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 15 00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:50,092 ♪ The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face ♪ 16 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,721 ♪ And he's shining a salute To the American race ♪ 17 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:59,810 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 18 00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:02,188 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 19 00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:03,230 Ah! 20 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:08,360 {\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 21 00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:10,446 {\an8}This place has everything. 22 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:11,781 {\an8}It's so smart. 23 00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,240 {\an8}People come to get fish. 24 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:14,867 {\an8}They see the beautiful fish, right? 25 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,994 {\an8}They're smelling the big fish smells, 26 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,829 {\an8}listening to the high-powered sink 27 00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:22,958 {\an8}washing bloody scales off the thick forearms of the fish-chopping men. 28 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,794 {\an8}What are they gonna be? Hungry, right? 29 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,545 {\an8}I already wanted fish later, 30 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:29,340 {\an8}but now I'm hungry for fish now. 31 00:01:29,465 --> 00:01:30,424 {\an8}A sushi bar? 32 00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:31,842 {\an8}Right here? Boom. 33 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,803 {\an8}It's so smart. 34 00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:37,056 {\an8}But what if you drop a top-quality piece of yellowtail, 35 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:39,350 {\an8}dripping in wasabi-thickened soy sauce, 36 00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:41,435 {\an8}right on your new "Life is Good" T-shirt? 37 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,895 {\an8}- Oh, no. - Boom. 38 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,104 {\an8}Dry cleaner right there. 39 00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:46,232 It's just so smart. 40 00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:48,692 {\an8}Hold up. I gotta nab a real quick prescription 41 00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:50,903 {\an8}at this convenient as hell pharmacy. Boom. 42 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:53,572 {\an8}A climbing wall? 43 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,199 {\an8}Lure a bunch of lean climbers in, 44 00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,952 {\an8}let them grip around till they're half mad with hunger, 45 00:01:58,077 --> 00:01:59,787 {\an8}then turn them loose in a grocery store? 46 00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:02,206 {\an8}It's smart, Francine, like you've been saying. 47 00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:03,916 {\an8}I see you're taking Liflafluvia. 48 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,501 {\an8}Let me go over some of the side-- 49 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,336 {\an8}I've taken Liflafluvia before. 50 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,505 {\an8}I get all the side effects, every last one. 51 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,758 {\an8}Leg bloat, numb fingers, ear closure, memory loss, 52 00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:16,136 {\an8}phantom tail, and last but not least, memory loss. 53 00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:18,013 {\an8}Sounds like it's hard on your body. 54 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,723 {\an8}- What do you take it for? - I forget. 55 00:02:19,849 --> 00:02:20,766 {\an8}Wha... 56 00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:22,935 {\an8}No [bleep] way. 57 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,353 {\an8}What are you doing here? 58 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,523 {\an8}- I came to check it out. - Us too. Insane. 59 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,608 {\an8}When are the three of us ever together? 60 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:30,860 {\an8}We should get a drink. 61 00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:33,362 {\an8}Aw, too bad we're in a normal grocery store. 62 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,446 {\an8}As if! 63 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,532 {\an8}To the Grand Grocer. 64 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,868 {\an8}What was once a Korean War memorial 65 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,828 is now finally something we can use. 66 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,500 Can I say how nice it's been, 67 00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:49,086 coming here every day this month with you guys? 68 00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:51,714 Klaus has been all over me about my drinking, 69 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:55,092 and these mid-morning drinks are really helping me relax. 70 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,094 It's certainly enriched my life. 71 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,762 Just staring at the bank over there 72 00:02:58,888 --> 00:03:02,057 has me this close to opening my first checking account. 73 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,602 It's an odd duck, the grocery store bank. 74 00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:08,022 It's a real bank. Vault, guard, everything but-- 75 00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:11,275 Something always made me think it'll be easier to-- 76 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,528 Never mind. Must be the third Midori Sour before 11:00 a.m. talking. 77 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:15,738 Easier to rob? 78 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:16,947 Sure, I've thought that too. 79 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,866 - You have? - Yeah, I see it. 80 00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:21,076 All the distraction of a grocery store 81 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,453 gives the robber good cover. 82 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,706 Totally agree. Also, I'm hammered. I need food. 83 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,918 These olive bar olives are mixing nicely in my stomach 84 00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,377 with the martini olives. 85 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,671 How would someone rob the bank, 86 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,590 if they were gonna do it? 87 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,636 You know, for banks, protocol during a robbery is not to risk human life. 88 00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,679 Guards only shoot if they see a weapon. 89 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:44,391 Huh. So the worst thing to bring to a robbery-- 90 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,643 Is a gun. 91 00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,728 Give me all the money or I shoot. 92 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,396 - You got a gun? - You bet. 93 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,023 - Let me see it. - Check it. 94 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,527 Just terrible. Awful. 95 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,237 You know what isn't awful, though? 96 00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:00,658 The Marcona almonds they're putting out at this olive station. 97 00:04:00,783 --> 00:04:01,992 Holy shit. 98 00:04:02,952 --> 00:04:05,245 Okay. So guns wouldn't work. 99 00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:07,539 The real issue is how to do a robbery 100 00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:09,416 without being identified. 101 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,836 Well, if there's one thing I know, it's disguises. 102 00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:14,964 Hey, sweets. Long day. Am I right? 103 00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:16,882 I'm the new armored truck driver. 104 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,593 We've never met. I'm here to pick up the cash. I'm new. 105 00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:21,512 Sure. What's the 10-digit code? 106 00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:22,805 No prob, beautiful. 107 00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,265 That 10-digit code is I got a gun. Here it is. 108 00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,644 Just awful. 109 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,021 That bloodthirsty guard is a big problem. 110 00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,106 Wait. Where is he? 111 00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:33,607 It's 12:15. 112 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:36,110 That's when they put out the rotisserie chickens. 113 00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:38,404 And he gets one every day. 114 00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,489 He gets one every day. 115 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,574 And that's when we'd rob the-- 116 00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:43,826 Wait. What am I saying? 117 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,411 I'm a lawman. 118 00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,205 To this day, I'm hot under the collar about Al Capone's antics. 119 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,790 You gotta relax, Stan. 120 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,375 No one's robbing anything. 121 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,127 It's just a simple thought experiment. 122 00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:55,295 Yeah. And here's a thought. 123 00:04:55,421 --> 00:05:00,092 What if you got someone else to rob the bank for you? 124 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,136 What if you got... Hear me out. 125 00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,221 ...a cake to rob the bank? 126 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,224 They take a lot of orders over the phone, 127 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,852 and never seem to give much thought 128 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,478 to what people want written on them. 129 00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,397 Twenty-four-inch sheet cake. 130 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:14,523 The message? 131 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:15,774 "Sorry, Glen. 132 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,484 "You are not the father." 133 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,319 You want that delivered, darling? 134 00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:20,946 They deliver, huh? 135 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,823 The message? 136 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:26,035 "You're being robbed. Give me all your money." 137 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,619 You want cursive or print? 138 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:28,912 My cursive ain't great. 139 00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:33,792 Time for big baby to get his chicky. 140 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,002 Cake delivery. 141 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,380 Hey, burglars. 142 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,882 Where do I put the money? 143 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:40,966 Smoosh it in the cake? 144 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,134 Seems stupid. 145 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,385 We're not stupid. 146 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:45,763 I think I know where the money should go. 147 00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:46,889 Peep this. 148 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,310 Janitorial to kombucha bar. 149 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:52,686 Then you can call in, 150 00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:55,105 access the PA without even being in the store. 151 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,274 But you need the dial-in code. 152 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,650 It's one, four, three. 153 00:05:58,776 --> 00:05:59,693 I saw it. 154 00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:01,904 {\an8}Oh, wow. 155 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,906 So, it could go like this. 156 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,741 "This is a robbery. 157 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,743 "Put the money in your waste basket, 158 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,578 then lock yourself in the vault." 159 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,080 Wait a second. 160 00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:12,289 That's 68 letters. 161 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,582 You're gonna need a bigger cake. 162 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,882 Waste basket full at bank counter. 163 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,259 Janitorial to bank counter, please. 164 00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:31,850 Then we grab the money from that dumpster 165 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,519 and walk out through the loading dock. 166 00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:35,938 No. There's cameras outside. 167 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,523 - Excuse me. - Go around me. 168 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,775 No cameras here. 169 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,529 What if we hid the cash in a bag of flour, 170 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:46,406 then put it in that reshelving area? 171 00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:48,492 Then it'd go back on the shelves, 172 00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:52,246 and using a burner phone... 173 00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:53,997 Ooh, burner phone. 174 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,917 ...we order an InstoShopper to pick it up 175 00:06:57,042 --> 00:07:00,337 and they deliver the money right to us. 176 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,214 We'll have to be in the bathroom 177 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,133 to put the money in the flour. 178 00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:06,969 But the only people doing things on camera 179 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,470 would be the baker, 180 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,806 the janitor, the reshelver 181 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,266 and the InstoShopper. 182 00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:14,935 {\an8}And after the InstoShopper delivered the cash, 183 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,812 {\an8}we could change his tip to zero. 184 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:17,896 {\an8}Double heist. 185 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,481 Did we think of everything? 186 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,316 Maybe. 187 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,153 Look, they're not responding to emails or phone calls 188 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,571 for what seems like years. 189 00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:28,782 I think we have to face the very real possibility 190 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,451 that Mah Mah and Bah Bah have died. 191 00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:34,538 Oh, no. Dye packs. 192 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,957 The teller's put dye packs in with the money. 193 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:43,964 Where'd they go? 194 00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,174 Bah Bah... 195 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:46,884 The dye packs are activated 196 00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:48,594 by a battery-powered transmitter. 197 00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:50,554 If the money gets too far from the bank, 198 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:51,805 it explodes. 199 00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,348 Try to tamper with the dye pack, 200 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,433 it explodes. 201 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,059 How long does the battery last? 202 00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:57,144 Top of my head? 203 00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,021 504 hours. Three weeks. 204 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:03,609 So if the money doesn't move, the dye pack won't explode? 205 00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:06,278 What if the dye packs weren't a problem? 206 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,988 What if they were the solution? 207 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,072 Listen. 208 00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,200 Even if we could get away with it, 209 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,994 the cops would still be looking for the money. 210 00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:16,163 But you know the kind of stolen money 211 00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:17,372 no one looks for? 212 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,166 Greek money? 213 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,542 The kind of money 214 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,086 they think they've already found. 215 00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:26,632 I put the real money in the rice. 216 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:27,966 And in the flour-- 217 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,551 Counterfeit money. 218 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:30,886 Counterfeit dye. 219 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:42,272 A rather ingenious plan foiled. 220 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,107 {\an8}Money destroyed but accounted for. 221 00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:45,234 Case closed. 222 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,662 And then we bring the money here, 223 00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:58,622 to this beautiful nearby hill. 224 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,290 It doesn't have to be in the plan, 225 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:01,959 but I'd really like it to be. 226 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,378 {\an8}My only loose end, and I mean only, 227 00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,088 {\an8}is in the three weeks we'd be waiting, 228 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,965 {\an8}someone will surely buy the rice. 229 00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,967 We'd put it in brown rice. 230 00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,760 The perfect plan. 231 00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,514 So I think we've all been sleeping 232 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,099 pretty badly this week. 233 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,183 I'm sleeping great. 234 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,476 With those bags under your eyes? 235 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:21,645 And your lips looking like sunbaked earthworms? 236 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:22,854 I don't think so. 237 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,232 If we need someone to say it, I'll say it. 238 00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:26,608 I think we should rob the bank. 239 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,694 - Roger, no. - Absolutely not. 240 00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:30,028 It was a thought experiment. 241 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,989 There's no point to really robbing the bank. 242 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:33,115 The plan is the point. 243 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,241 It's perfect. 244 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,450 - Maybe-- - No. 245 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,952 - Yeah. No. No way. - Never. 246 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,204 We're not the kind of people that rob banks. 247 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,498 And even though we'd definitely get away with it, 248 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,625 we'd always be haunted by what we'd done. 249 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,210 Would it change your mind 250 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,130 if I told you I've been thinking of us as the Three Musketeers? 251 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,590 A bank robbed by a cake? 252 00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:52,259 It's crazy but true. 253 00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,928 As last night, at our beloved Grand Grocer, 254 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,388 an attempted bank robbery 255 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:59,057 began with a demand written in icing 256 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:02,769 and ended with an unknowing InstoShopper covered in dye. 257 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,272 Police say it was an ingenious plan, 258 00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,899 but with the money all blasted up and inky, 259 00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:09,318 it looks like these thieves 260 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,278 won't get to have their cake 261 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,946 and steal it too. 262 00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:17,326 Nobody beats the boys in blue. 263 00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:22,247 I can't believe you robbed the bank without me. 264 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:23,749 But with Stan to do the phone 265 00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:25,792 and Francine to do the bathroom switch, 266 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,045 it must have been easy to cut old Roger out. 267 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,921 Technically, one person could've done it all 268 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,298 with the phone in the bathroom. 269 00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:33,008 Is that how you did it? 270 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,301 I didn't rob the bank. 271 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,303 Well, I didn't rob the bank. 272 00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:39,389 That's why no one wanted to do it when I asked. 273 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,557 {\an8}You'd already done it. 274 00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,226 That's why you asked us to do it. 275 00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,479 So we wouldn't think you'd already done it. 276 00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:47,439 That's why he gave us coffee. 277 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,024 He poisoned the co-- 278 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,901 {\an8}I didn't poison the coffee. 279 00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:52,319 {\an8}And I didn't do the robbery. 280 00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:53,987 {\an8}- Me neither. - Me neither. 281 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,530 {\an8}But we all heard the news. 282 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,324 {\an8}That was the first half of our plan. 283 00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:59,785 {\an8}Which leaves the second half. 284 00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:02,454 {\an8}How about we go down to the store right now, 285 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,998 {\an8}check the rice section for big bags of cash? 286 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,166 Sounds good to me. 287 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,251 How does it sound to you? To both of you? 288 00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:14,508 Nothing. 289 00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,551 So, you moved it, huh? 290 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,721 Pretty cute, Stan and/or Francine. 291 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,223 You hid it in the store somewhere, 292 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,933 just waiting out the dye pack. 293 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,267 Stop acting like it wasn't you. 294 00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:25,435 It's always you. 295 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:27,896 Unless it was you, my treacherous queen. 296 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,357 I'm the only one I know isn't lying. 297 00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:31,817 Isn't lying about what? 298 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:35,028 Isn't lying about my age. 299 00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:36,363 I'm 17, 300 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:38,532 so I can't be tried as an adult. Who are you? 301 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:39,908 Detective Turlington. 302 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,202 I'm... investigating the bank robbery. 303 00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:43,286 Oh, really? 304 00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:44,913 And how is that going? 305 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,748 The robbers didn't get the money. 306 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,917 So it's not... a high priority. 307 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,210 Makes good sense. 308 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,045 So you think you have the money? 309 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,171 Be quiet, Roger. 310 00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:54,798 You'd like that, wouldn't you, you snake? 311 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,634 Just saying not everything's what it seems in this world, 312 00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:00,262 money being real-wise. 313 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,014 Roger, that was stupid, goading Turlington like that. 314 00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:05,183 I'm innocent and I've nothing to fear. 315 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:06,643 I didn't do it, 316 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:08,478 but we've got a whiteboard with the perfect plan on it. 317 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:10,605 And I don't want the cops involved, 318 00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,817 'cause when I figure out which one of you did this, 319 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,361 I'm gonna whap the top of your foot with a hammer. 320 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,405 I demand to search your things. 321 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:19,823 I have nothing to hide. 322 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,033 You cool with that, Stan? 323 00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:23,952 Hella cool. What about you, Roger? 324 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,912 Why, yeah. I have lots of things to hide. 325 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:26,997 I'm a real sick ticket. 326 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:29,583 But I didn't do this. Search away. 327 00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,042 You weren't kidding, Roger. 328 00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,962 I saw some truly horrifying things. 329 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,214 But nothing to link you to the robbery. 330 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,757 And you two checked out. 331 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,759 Underwear all smells nice and clean. 332 00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:43,763 Is there a possibility that maybe none of us did it? 333 00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:46,766 Oh, another team of absolute hottie geniuses 334 00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,643 figured out the same perfect robbery? 335 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:49,728 Unlikely. 336 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,730 Someone could have overheard us. 337 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,064 I can be a little shouty. 338 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:55,400 I miss how it was yesterday. 339 00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:56,860 When we were getting along 340 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,613 and not calling each other snakes all the time. 341 00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,198 Okay. Then let's erase this board, 342 00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,074 in case Turlington comes poking around. 343 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,535 The Three Musketeers again. 344 00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,041 A burner phone? 345 00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:13,001 - Snakes. - Betraying snakes. 346 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,588 I'm taking this phone to Turlington right now. 347 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:17,672 How do you like that? 348 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,716 I'm absolutely gaga about it. 349 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:23,220 It's not my phone, so I like it a lot. 350 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,722 Don't test me. Just come clean now. 351 00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,266 This is your last chance, whoever I'm speaking to. 352 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,268 Hot evidence, coming through. 353 00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,854 Detective Turlington will be with you in just a moment. 354 00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:37,943 Oh, someone's hosed. 355 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,778 This phone is full of evidence. 356 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,155 Calls to the bakery and store intercom. 357 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,823 The InstoShopper order. 358 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,408 Videos of us-- Wait. What? 359 00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:46,785 Liflafluvia. 360 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:48,995 It will wipe our memories for this whole day. 361 00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:51,414 If we do the job right now during this window, 362 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:53,833 Stan won't be haunted by any pesky guilt. 363 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:56,211 And none of us will be witnesses to what we did. 364 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:58,922 That's turning the perfect heist into-- 365 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,924 The perfect heist. 366 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,008 All right, Stan. 367 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:03,385 You place the cake order, then-- 368 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:05,720 Wait. We almost forgot to take the Liflafluvia. 369 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,599 We all robbed the bank? 370 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,060 Oh, almost forgot the crucial Liflafluvia. 371 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,062 That doesn't prove we did it. 372 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,856 It just looks like we're getting high in the basement. 373 00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,441 Which is fine, and cool. 374 00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:19,568 There's a second video. 375 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:20,694 God damn it. 376 00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:24,072 We did it! We robbed the bank! 377 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,116 I hear you have... evidence. 378 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,076 Yes. A fingerprint. 379 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,120 A fingerprint? Where is it? 380 00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,664 It was on some ice. 381 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:33,915 But it melted. 382 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,001 So... we should go. 383 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,253 You're the people from the rice aisle. 384 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,671 Is eating rice a crime? 385 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,923 You know, we checked the cash. 386 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,426 Turned out it was fake, as was the dye. 387 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,262 You said something about that, right? 388 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,847 People say a lot of things in the rice aisle. 389 00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:49,973 I don't know. 390 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:51,600 I think the cash is still in the store 391 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:53,935 and the robbers are waiting for the dye pack battery to run out. 392 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,063 I think, to me, 393 00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,649 that all sounds like mumbo-jumbo. Right? 394 00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:02,027 - I mean, what? - Total mambo-jambo. 395 00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,279 We'll let you get back to your impenetrable forensics, 396 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,698 you everyday hero. 397 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:10,076 {\an8}If you're watching this, us, you just pulled it off. 398 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:12,912 {\an8}All you have to do is go to Grand Grocer to pick up the cash 399 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:14,039 {\an8}when the battery dies. 400 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:15,582 {\an8}We changed our minds on the rice 401 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:17,459 {\an8}and found a cool new hiding spot. 402 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:19,502 {\an8}And that spot is inside-- 403 00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:21,004 {\an8}Holy smokes. Is that a wolf? 404 00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:24,966 My God. That was so beautiful. 405 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,385 They really are like gorgeous dogs. 406 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:30,889 I love seeing a wolf after robbing a bank. 407 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,474 We got to destroy this phone. 408 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,267 Agreed. Then we're free and clear. 409 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:35,352 Yes, let's. 410 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,812 But also, we should finish the job. 411 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,105 No. No way. 412 00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,066 It's a miracle we've gotten away with it so far. 413 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,360 It's not a miracle, it's the perfect heist. 414 00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,778 And I say, in a few weeks, 415 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,529 when the dye pack battery dies, 416 00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:47,781 we go down there, 417 00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:49,824 find the hidden money and finish this thing. 418 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,117 Turlington knows. 419 00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:53,036 He's gonna be all over that store. I'm out. 420 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,371 It's over, Roger. 421 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,247 But we're the Three Musketeers. 422 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,875 That was never something I agreed to or understood. 423 00:15:59,000 --> 00:15:59,959 That's a candy. 424 00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:02,003 So I'm gonna do it myself? 425 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,434 Need some help? 426 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,521 I can't stand the idea 427 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,648 of a bank getting its money back. 428 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,609 And I just watched The Three Musketeers with Chris O'Donnell. 429 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:25,819 I get it now. 430 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,320 He's cute and sexy. 431 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,864 All for one and one for all. 432 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,533 Oh, I like that. Who says that? 433 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,201 Is it from something or just you? 434 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,208 Let's stay calm. 435 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,335 We just have to get inside our minds 436 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,962 and figure out what we were thinking 437 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,130 when we hid the cash. 438 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:47,924 Let's get it before the cops do. 439 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:50,427 Oh, also, we need honey mustard pretzel nubbins. 440 00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:51,553 We're out? 441 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,846 Listen up. 442 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,432 $50,000 is hidden somewhere within the store. 443 00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:57,892 As of right now, the dye pack battery is dead. 444 00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,853 I believe the robbers will be back for the money. 445 00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:02,439 We have to catch them or find it first. 446 00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:04,065 Ideally, both. 447 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,442 But you guys have a reputation 448 00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,068 for being the worst cops in the country. 449 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,154 But I'm confident you're gonna serve this force 450 00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:11,239 with distinction, bravery and-- 451 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,908 Because we're cops, can we eat anything in the store for free? 452 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,410 - No. - What if we search something 453 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,703 and now it's open? 454 00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:18,663 They can't sell it, right? We can eat it then. 455 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,291 Cheddar is slang for money. 456 00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,960 Is the money, like, pushed into some cheese? 457 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:27,046 In the video, we said it was a cool new hiding spot. 458 00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,758 Is there somewhere food is kept cool? 459 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,092 Not the rotisserie chickens. 460 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,385 Those are hot. 461 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,637 Let's eat two each, see if we get any ideas. 462 00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:37,390 The freezer section. That's cool. 463 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:38,892 Think the money could be in here? 464 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:41,227 - In the big rubber ball thing? - Yeah. 465 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,772 - Underneath the balls? - Yeah. 466 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,064 Oh, that's definitely where it is. 467 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,652 Oh, these balls are under arrest! 468 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,076 If I know my own brain, it has to be here. 469 00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:59,537 Because these Jimmy Dean Breakfast Nuggets 470 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:00,955 are money in the bank. 471 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,959 Tamales. Like the saying. "That's a lot of tamales." 472 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,879 Whoa, these tamales are a lot of tamales. 473 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,130 This isn't right. 474 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,383 That's it. The triceratops. 475 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:15,720 Three horns. 476 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,263 One horn per friend. 477 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,100 It's empty. 478 00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:24,145 But you're on to something. 479 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,981 The hiding place could be about us, our friendship. 480 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,233 Gold Top Nuts? 481 00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,360 The best. But the can's too small. 482 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:33,112 Nuts. Nuts. Marcona almonds. 483 00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,405 They're in the olive bar, 484 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,282 but they also carry a big tub of them 485 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:38,493 that's so expensive no one could ever buy it. 486 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,661 The almonds. 487 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,162 That might actually be it. 488 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,330 And they're over there. 489 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,540 Look at the brand name. 490 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,752 I don't speak much Italian, 491 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,379 and I don't even think that is Italian, 492 00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:51,965 but I think we just found the cash. 493 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,633 Now let's get out of here. 494 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,511 If it isn't the rice aisle gang. 495 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,720 I know what you're doing here. 496 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,807 Oh, whatever are you talking about? 497 00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:03,476 Oh, like you don't know... 498 00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:09,148 that someone hid $50,000 somewhere in this store. 499 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,316 Why am I loud? 500 00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:11,818 Do I sound loud to you? 501 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,237 Money riot! 502 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,701 I need that money because I want it! 503 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,537 No, no, no! 504 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:27,208 Are you in there, money? 505 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,336 I have to deal with this fireball. 506 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:32,964 Don't you dare use this fireball 507 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,258 as an opportunity to escape my questioning. 508 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:42,098 ♪ This money is tearing us apart ♪ 509 00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:45,476 This is it. 510 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:48,271 The perfect end to the perfect heist. 511 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,480 And once again, gang, 512 00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:51,024 sorry for dropping the almond tub 513 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,734 all the way down the hill so many times. 514 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,277 Busted. 515 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,653 If you don't mind. 516 00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,989 And here it is, at long last. 517 00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,157 Fifty thousand... 518 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,618 Almonds? 519 00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,703 What? I mean, of course. 520 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,204 Uh, yeah. 521 00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,915 What'd you think you were gonna find? 522 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,251 The missing paintings of the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum? 523 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,253 By the way, store's on fire. 524 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,632 My keys are in there! 525 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,928 So, we didn't find it. 526 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,430 But it looks like no one else will either. 527 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,474 And we'll always have the wonderful memory 528 00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:25,767 of nearly pulling off the-- 529 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,561 What's this? Damn it. We took this again? 530 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,021 Well, we didn't find the money 531 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,481 and we won't remember the heist. 532 00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:32,649 {\an8}But I don't know. 533 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:34,776 {\an8}At least we destroyed the grocery store? 534 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,611 {\an8}We loved that grocery store. 535 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,321 We sure did.